The Infection (A Singular Thought)

A habit long ago
thought to be long gone,
a negative thought to be turned
to the beginning of a promising dawn,
this singular thought
that once solely possessed my mind
was one I could not let go
even if it was something I tried not to find.
I tried to run from it
only to discover cowering would not prevail.
I attempted to dismiss it as normal,
a thought that was futile and surely did fail.
Counsel told me often
that it would catch up with me in time.
I knew its detrimental nature
was sure to aid in this undoing of mine.
I was not sure how it would
occur in what seemed to be painless,
that it could tear my very fabric
and mar that which was seemingly stainless.
My thoughts of naivety
that once served as my shield
are now the worst enemy
of the protector on my soul's battlefield.
A struggle that began
so many years ago
was swept under the rug
allowing the emotional cancer to grow.
Never being the proactive carrier
and never taking the precautions needed,
I have allowed the disease within
to take me to within inches of being defeated.
With a deep breath to take
as I peer over the cliff on which I stand,
I have this last split second
to make a final demand:
I must catch my balance
as I turn my body and soul around
to face the infection that I have allowed
to penetrate and surround;
I must utilize the assistance
and aid at every turn to combat
the sickness I have coddled for years
that has caused my soul to fall flat;
it is now that the turnaround
must come to fruition
or else this heart, soul, and body
will succumb to this evil condition's inflictions.