Answers They Don't Have

This is a poem from a couple months ago that I never posted...sorry for the delay but I hope you enjoy a blast from the past writing style/mind that I carried:


When ideas run rampant
without an outlet
why should I not
act upset?
I know there is
some reason or rhyme
but what if I don't
have the time
to take to figure
or take to discover
when it seems the process
is immediate for others?
I can't turn to them
for the answers
that they don't have
for this, my cancer.
I can't turn to those
who seem to luck out
and when they don't give
I scream and shout.
They don't have
what I'm looking for
or what I need them
to have in store.
There is only one
place it is found,
a place of wisdom
so profound,
but my stubbornness
is yet to be ready
for the approaching
of that place that's steady.
When my anger that
surpasses passes
maybe then can I
look through the glasses.
I hope it's soon
that this anguish of arrogance leaves
so I can once again
feel some kind of peace.

An Unfortunate Exchange

I can't remember
anything but flashes
with anger's throws
and throwing's crashes,
ice flew
and doors were slammed,
all cool heads gone,
self-control be damned.
Words were spewed
and actions out carried
with despicableness
and held tongues unmarried.
Reactions may have
warranted a response
but perhaps not the one
that was given on the spot.
The tempers flared
and emotions ran high
with voices raised
and fists to the sky.
Regrets are had
with guilt taking reign
all due to an
unfortunate exchange.

Yelling and Accusation

S/he never has a
moment of hesitation
to shy from the instinct
of yelling and accusation.
S/he has a certain knack
for passing the buck
onto someone else
who has no luck.
S/he doesn't keep hidden
what s/he is thinking
as others' hopes and dreams
begin an immediate sinking.
S/he hurls the insults
and words that hurt
as if a grave
needs any more dirt,
but all the while,
while the others' is pain real,
it is something
that she feels.
The ones s/he channels
the anger towards
are only pawns
she tries to push forward,
yet s/he's beginning
to see so clearly
that all the screaming
is due to all the fearing.
When it finally hits home
is when she finally sees
nothing but a face
that she now buries.
The tears show now
where this anger has gotten her:
to a place of regret
where the real scars last forever.

Unequivocal Violence

I refuse to listen
because I can't
due to the inevitable
following rant.
My anger will easily
overflow
onto you whether
fair or no.
I will let loose
and unleash
the unequivocal violence
of a savage beast.
The words will spew
like sulfuric acid
that could not be
further from placid.
The yelling that increases
will do so quickly
and run you over
ever so briskly.
You won't know
how to react
as your body will
instantly contract.
I am at all cost
avoiding the contact
of eyes that will
pierce upon impact
because if this anger
is thrown upon you
you will have no
clue what to do.
So keep your mouth
shut and tight-lipped
and I will ignore
your ignorant blip.

Need for a Pillow

I don't know what sign
you need to receive
to understand how badly
I want you to leave.
I cannot tell you
how much I can't stand
you loitering around here
without a purpose or exit plan.
Do you not have another
place you could go
that would not prevent
me from my home?
Why do you not
have a place to be
that does not affect
my time with my family?
My anger is overcoming
my words and thoughts
as my actions could well follow
though they are being fought.
I am trying not to grow
as violent as I can
but there is only so much
that can be taken by a man.
My body cannot help
but to quiver and shake
as my hands become fists
in a fiery passion that can't be faked.
I am trying to block
the emotions that I
can't swallow or digest
but that still won't die.
Every sense I have,
now extra heightened,
the slightest wrong move
can bring an attack to frighten.
This fighting that I am
trying to keep within
is about to burst out
of my soul yet again.
With nothing but these thoughts
running within my soul
only a deep breath and a pillow
can make me whole.

I'm Going To, Just To

I'm going to tell you these words
without believing in them.
I'm going to scream at the top of my lungs.
I won't do any of these verbs
just so I can break a promise again
and to portray a fake amount of fun.
I'll strive to do everything you won't
just to prove to you and me that you are no prophet.
I'm going against every fiber anyone else may have.
Lastly, I'll posses the qualities you don't
just to show both of us that I haven't lost it.

I'm going to do it all differently
just to make myself what I was told I could never be.