Need for a Pillow

I don't know what sign
you need to receive
to understand how badly
I want you to leave.
I cannot tell you
how much I can't stand
you loitering around here
without a purpose or exit plan.
Do you not have another
place you could go
that would not prevent
me from my home?
Why do you not
have a place to be
that does not affect
my time with my family?
My anger is overcoming
my words and thoughts
as my actions could well follow
though they are being fought.
I am trying not to grow
as violent as I can
but there is only so much
that can be taken by a man.
My body cannot help
but to quiver and shake
as my hands become fists
in a fiery passion that can't be faked.
I am trying to block
the emotions that I
can't swallow or digest
but that still won't die.
Every sense I have,
now extra heightened,
the slightest wrong move
can bring an attack to frighten.
This fighting that I am
trying to keep within
is about to burst out
of my soul yet again.
With nothing but these thoughts
running within my soul
only a deep breath and a pillow
can make me whole.