That Hint of Paranoid

That hint of paranoid
that creeps upon,
that clouds the sky
and hides the dawn,
that feeling sneaking,
that suspicion afoot,
it feels too bad,
it isn't good.
It ruins the positive,
makes a promise broken,
turns a monument
into a token.
It takes excitement
down a notch,
as if to expose
it to be a crock.
It allows the build-up
to take place
to enact a tear-down
right in a face.
It convinces a mind
of all of the wrongs,
even in the midst
of the rights so strong.
It poisons a perspective
with a little drip
in a drink that will
inevitably be sipped.
As long as it
possesses a breath
it will always
end in death,
therefore let it breathe not
a single time
unless an eventual demise
is for what you pine.

Confusion

Hopes, dreams,
nightmares, journeys,
lights, gleams
pain, gurneys,
joy, mistakes,
gives, takes,
travels, cities,
friends, enemies,
regrets, elation,
love, jubilation,
the sum, the difference,
rejection, admittance,
understood, confusion,
bandage, contusion,
focuses, goals,
completeness, holes,
words, paper,
grass, skyscraper,
nonsensical, vivid,
provoking, livid,
ends, means,
pretend, scenes,
all, none,
for any, for someone.

Your Great Triumph

Pull my tears out,
yank them by the threads
until you feel you pulled enough
and you have left me for dead.
Scream at the top of your lungs
to have the fire within me build
until it begins to consume me,
until the point has sunk into my head, is drilled.
Stand there and listen
for the cry you worked so hard for,
for the pain you pushed me
as hard as you could toward.
Stare into my eyeball
to see the moisture building
as I try to stop it,
the stream that comes, unwilling.
Turn your back on me
as you have your great triumph,
as you have me on my knees,
just what you said you want.
Take a lap for victory's sake,
the hardest worked-for victory yet,
the moment you promised yourself
that you would always get,
then finally walk away and leave me here
in my most vulnerable moment in time,
with only pain, starvation,
loneliness, and depression, all mine.

Solitary Broom Tree

Solitary broom tree:
the place where I collapse,
the place where I rest,
where I can finally relax,
it shades my fatigued body,
energy drained by the sun,
drowned by life's grind,
from the nonstop run.
It's where the race
slows down to a halt,
a perfect time
to become stalled,
and it is at this time
that a breath of fresh air
is breathed straight
into my lungs there.
It is in this place
that I am resurrected
from a phase in which
no life could be detected.
Legs that could not
on their own stand
now can do all
that this world demands
for the Force behind
their new found strength
will lead to perseverance
to quite some length.
For no longer must
I rely on myself
but rather on a Force
so much greater than self.
Now I can run
through the trials
and over the obstacles
and around the wiles
because no matter where
I may be taken now
I know I will be carried
on the shoulders of the Father so proud.

Intellectually Intimidated

Scared to death
to open her mouth,
to say a word,
much less scream or shout,
she feels intimidated
around the wise,
feeling so inundated
yet there awaits a surprise.
Apparently unknown
to others as to her
is the secret to unfold
that will last forever,
the secret that she
is as smart as any.
If only she gave credit needed
that was ripped away by many.
She has nothing to hide
as all the brains possessed
are that in which to confide
that she subconsciously suppressed.
The wisdom for which
she pined for so long
is coming to fruition
in one of life's happiest songs
as now is her time
to enjoy the gift discovered,
one that will make her shine
and can never be taken from her.

It Inspires Me

My mind picks
apart certain things
that resonate
with specific rings...

I look at a couple
walking the sidewalk
staring into eyes
without a word of talk.
They gaze upon
the one they love
as peaceful as
two turtle doves.
It inspires me.

The skies are gorgeous,
so full of beauty,
so much so
they can lighten the moody.
They bless me with
ideas abounding
and thoughts of hope
and happiness surrounding.
It inspires me.

A mother talking,
a mother yelling,
she screams and screams
in the telling
but all the while
it's done out of love
and the care she has
that always rises above.
It inspires me.

I look around
just a bit more
for inspiration,
for something I can adore
when I step back
and see this gift
with which God has chosen
to bless me with.
I know I
can only choose
to put it to
the best of use
so that in doing so
I can put other's worries at ease
and, from Him, one day
hear it is me in whom He is well pleased.
THAT inspires me.

The Crash

Going so frantically,
mind running manically,
heart starts pounding
without reserve.
Body does quiver,
impossible to be quicker,
begins feeling sicker,
unable to be preserved.
The crash inevitable,
after pedal to the metal
with a soul all but impenetrable,
the soul passes out.
All hope lost
with every paid cost
as peace once sought
is known nothing about...
when suddenly there's a flash!

As if a voice is speaking
directly to my soul,
He tells me only He
can fill the void, the hole.
He tells me about
my own struggles
no one else knows
nor with which would be troubled.
He informs me what
I should have known:
I can't do this myself
whether or not I'm full grown.
When it comes to gaining
that true contentment and peace,
I am still an infant
who can only crawl on my knees
but He, my eternal Father,
carries me through
a wilderness in which
there is nothing I can do
as He feeds my soul
along the way
until I can stand
on my own that day.
He instills in me the peace
I pined, I beckoned for
and informs me I will
be good for so much more
as only with His support
can I make it through this
daily earthly grind
without being pecked by death's kiss.
My Lord has me
in His hands at all times,
the knowledge providing
this ultimate peace of mine.